I think the thought of starting over cripples our minds and brainwashes our thoughts.
I’ve come across so many people who stay in these abusive, lifeless relationships and I am baffled as to why. I get it, everyone is fighting their own battles and life is far from perfect, but what is it about this emotional roller coaster that brings joy to our lives? Why is everyone okay with a good week, or a good month?
Too often I hear, “Oh, things have been better”. Better? What does that mean?
Last month he was hitting you and throwing you out of his home, she was telling you what a lowlife she thought you were and how much she hated you. Miraculously though, things are just better …. I guess? Those hurtful words and violent outbreaks brushed under the rug as if they had no meaning.
You’re lying to yourself if you say they don’t resonate within you and replay in your head.
But we stay. in fact, we never even considered leaving. Why?
Rebuilding scares the shit out of us, thats why.
It requires time and effort. It requires us dealing with loss. It requires us dealing with pain. It requires us to deal with suffering. More importantly, it requires us having strength; something the majority of us lack.
And so we shy away from it. Nobody wants to lose it all. It’s much easier to fix something than to start from scratch. We place a temporary band-aid over it in exchange for temporary happiness. We’ll take that good day, or good week.
Band-aids fall off after a while though, and that wound exposes itself once again. Somehow we already know things will never change, though.
You see, we chase comfort, not happiness. How many people do you know stay with their partner due to some financial implication? Exactly. That's comfort. We chase appearance, not passion. Has one of your girlfriends ever talked to you about how much she hates having sex with her boyfriend? Ok, you get my point now?
We have this obsession to be wanted, to be desired, to be loved so we tolerate everything else. We want that perfect family life and will sacrifice everything out of fear of never having it.
Ask yourself how genuinely happy you are in your current relationship.
Now ask yourself how long you've tried fooling everyone into believing you are.
We’ll never reach our full potential if we fear letting go of what holds us down. It’s not easy. In fact, it’s extremely difficult. You can bet your ass it hurts, but who doesn’t want the best for themselves? I’m not naive; no relationship is perfect. And I'm sure none will ever be. There’s a difference, however, between a couple who’s genuinely in love and a couple who’s trying desperately to find ways not to fall out. Lately I just see too much of the latter.
The saddest part? There’s people out there who want to love you. People who want to make you smile. People who want to make you happy. But you're blind to them. Hell, they could be standing right in front of your face begging for your attention but you just don’t see it. Why?
Because you're fooled into believing that love has to hurt.
You're fooled into believing that people change and that fairytale they promised you is going to come true.
It’s not. Don’t let your world fall apart waiting for it.